Recently I’ve come across some good General
Conference talks about children and motherhood and I just had a to share some
of the things I found especially uplifting.
For those not of our faith who read this blog, General Conference is
when the leaders of our church (Mormon/LDS) give talks/speeches to counsel and
uplift the members. It happens twice a
year and is always very inspiring to me.
This post will kind of give you a glimpse of the kinds of things we hear
at Conference.
First off is a talk by Jeffrey R. Holland
called “Because She Is A Mother.” I had
a lot of dishes to do one day and was looking for some encouragement. I typed the word ‘mother’ into the lds.org
search engine and scrolled down until I found Conference talks on the
subject. This title caught my eye and
the talk did not disappoint. It gave me
the emotional boost I needed and so I want to share parts of it with you.
“In speaking of mothers generally, I
especially wish to praise and encourage young mothers. The work of a mother is
hard, too often unheralded work. The young years are often those when either
husband or wife—or both—may still be in school or in those earliest and leanest
stages of developing the husband’s breadwinning capacities. Finances fluctuate
daily between low and nonexistent. The apartment is usually decorated in one of
two smart designs—Deseret Industries provincial or early Mother Hubbard. The
car, if there is one, runs on smooth tires and an empty tank. But with night
feedings and night teethings, often the greatest challenge of all for a young
mother is simply fatigue. Through these years, mothers go longer on less sleep
and give more to others with less personal renewal for themselves than any
other group I know at any other time in life. It is not surprising when the shadows
under their eyes sometimes vaguely resemble the state of Rhode Island.
Do the best you can through these years, but whatever else you
do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself
sends angels to watch over you and your little ones.
One young mother wrote to me recently that her anxiety tended to
come on three fronts. One was that whenever she heard talks on LDS motherhood,
she worried because she felt she didn’t measure up or somehow wasn’t going to
be equal to the task. Secondly, she felt like the world expected her to teach
her children reading, writing, interior design, Latin, calculus, and the
Internet—all before the baby said something terribly ordinary, like “goo goo” (this is totally how I feel sometimes). Thirdly, she often felt people were sometimes patronizing, almost always
without meaning to be, because the advice she got or even the compliments she
received seemed to reflect nothing of the mental investment, the spiritual and
emotional exertion, the long-night, long-day, stretched-to-the-limit demands
that sometimes are required in trying to be and wanting to be the mother God
hopes she will be.
But one thing, she said, keeps her going: “Through the thick and
the thin of this, and through the occasional tears of it all, I know deep down
inside I am doing God’s work. I know that in my motherhood I am in an eternal
partnership with Him. I am deeply moved that God finds His ultimate purpose and
meaning in being a parent, even if some of His children make Him weep.
In light of that kind of expression, it is clear that some of
those Rhode Island–sized shadows come not just from diapers and carpooling but
from at least a few sleepless nights spent searching the soul, seeking
earnestly for the capacity to raise these children to be what God wants them to
be. Moved by that kind of devotion and determination, may I say to mothers
collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. You are doing
terrifically well. The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility
is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you. He knows
that your giving birth to a child does not immediately propel you into the
circle of the omniscient. If you and your husband will strive to love God and
live the gospel yourselves; if you will plead for that guidance and comfort of
the Holy Spirit promised to the faithful; if you will go to the temple to both
make and claim the promises of the most sacred covenants a woman or man can
make in this world; if you will show others, including your children, the same
caring, compassionate, forgiving heart you want heaven to show you; if you try
your best to be the best parent you can be, you will have done all that a human
being can do and all that God expects you to do.
No one has failed who keeps trying and keeps praying. You have
every right to receive encouragement and to know in the end your children will
call your name blessed, just like those generations of foremothers before you
who hoped your same hopes and felt your same fears.
When you have come to the Lord in meekness and lowliness of
heart and, as one mother said, “pounded on the doors of heaven to ask for, to
plead for, to demand guidance and wisdom and help for this wondrous task,” that
door is thrown open to provide you the influence and the help of all eternity.
Claim the promises of the Savior of the world. Ask for the healing balm of the
Atonement for whatever may be troubling you or your children. Know that in
faith things will be made right in spite of you, or more correctly, because of
you.
Yours is the work of salvation, and therefore you will be
magnified, compensated, made more than you are and better than you have ever
been as you try to make honest effort, however feeble you may sometimes feel
that to be.
Rely on Him. Rely on Him heavily. Rely on Him forever. And
“press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of
hope.” You are
doing God’s work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you and He
will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be the
most challenging. Like the woman who anonymously, meekly, perhaps even with
hesitation and some embarrassment, fought her way through the crowd just to
touch the hem of the Master’s garment, so Christ will say to the women who worry
and wonder and sometimes weep over their responsibility as mothers, “Daughter,
be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole.” And it will make your children whole
as well.”
All I can say is amen to that. I love the inspiration I feel from his words. It applies to every mother everywhere, no matter religion or background. Motherhood is the noblest of callings. It is so important to Heavenly Father and so He will be there through it all. Love those babies and love yourself throughout
the good times and the bad.
There are many talks and articles on lds.org about parenthood, children, and many other subjects. If you ever need a pick-me-up, as we all do sometimes, listen to or read one of them and you will feel uplifted and inspired in your role as a mother!
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