Getting Your Baby to Sleep Through the Night (part 3)- Hillary Thoughts: It's okay to wing it!

When I would ask this question the answer people gave me was always the same- that my baby would do it on her own.  Everyone- friends, family, books, strangers- kept telling me that her schedule would switch eventually and that there was not too much I could do to help it happen other than be patient.  After 2 long sleepless months I was convinced that my baby was just different and would never ever sleep more than 3 hours at a time for the rest of her life!  But now at 4 months I have a little more insight...and I honestly have to say that everyone was right- Audrey just figured it out on her own.  It was definitely gradual, but I do remember waking up one morning and suddenly realizing that I had gotten 7 hours of sleep!  And it got better and better from there.

That was after trying many different things.  Everyone absolutely needs to remember that every baby is different.  We've said it three times, just in this series of posts, and yet it still can't be said enough.  Olivia and I can attest to this- our girls are only a day apart and yet are SO different from each other.  I would also like to add that every mom-and-baby combination is completely different as well.  I think this is a really important thing to remember.  I was often frustrated and self conscious about why my baby was not able to catch on like other babies I was hearing about.  Why wasn't a routine working for us?  Was it my fault?  Am I holding her too much?  Am I not strict or consistent enough?  I was very confused and needless to say, VERY tired.  I finally just gave up on it and determined to put what everyone had said to the test.  I hoped and prayed that she really would figure it out on her own.  Once I let go everything felt easier for me.  I did things my own way.  I still would hold Audrey till she was all the way asleep even though I had been advised time and time again not to.  But it worked for us.  I stopped trying to give her an established bed time even though it was recommended to.  It worked for us.  There were a lot of things I let go of and it made a big difference in my relationship with her.  As Olivia said in her post, we just snuggled and hoped tomorrow would be better.  That was, and sometimes still is, our bedtime routine.

Here are a few tips I have found useful, though- tips on how to help the process along, as well as tips on how to be patient in the meantime:

•  When you get up at night try to keep lights off.  This tip and the next one were already mentioned in the other posts.  It can help baby start to realize it's nighttime and possibly may help her schedule switch.  I've also found that now it helps baby go back to sleep quicker after eating.  (This was not always the case though.  Sometimes when she was awake there was nothing I could do about it and I would drive us both crazy if I kept trying to make her sleep.  Sometimes when a baby is up, they are just up.  This is where patience must come into play.)
•   Also, when you get up at night, try to keep noise level very low.  This may also help baby start to realize that it's nighttime.  This one was hard for me because I liked to have something on the TV.  Subtitles became my best friend.  I would still keep the sound on just very, very low.  And this brings me to my next recommendation which is....
•   Get into a TV show or a movie series.  This way you won't dread getting up as much.  I would recommend making it something you haven't seen before.  For me that made it kind of a treat.  Just think, "If I have to get up at least I get to watch an episode of Gilmore Girls or Downtown Abbey" or whatever it may be.  It helped me so much.  Reading didn't work for me and being on the computer to kill time didn't either because Audrey wanted to be held and walked around most of the time when she was up at night after eating.  This is why the TV was my friend- because it was hands free.
•   Don't try keeping baby up longer during the day so that they'll sleep at night.  It can backfire because an overly tired baby is MUCH harder to calm down.  Let them nap during the day as normal, just don't let it go too terribly long.

Those are the things that seemed to help for me personally.  I don't actually know if keeping the lights off and the sound low contributed at all to her starting to sleep through or if it was just because she got older.  They helped me keep my sanity, though, which is a very important thing for a mom.  I think that keeping yourself healthy enables you to keep your baby healthy.  

Now, at four months old, Audrey sleeps between 9 and 13 hours at night, occasionally getting up for a feeding around 4am.  She really did just figure it out.  So, my advice would be to try all the routines and suggestions, but if all else fails don't feel discouraged about winging it.  Do what feels good for you and baby.

What are some different ways you've gotten your baby to sleep?

How do you keep your sanity when baby isn't sleeping well?