*(Check out this awesome blog post to perhaps justify our seemingly inexplicable absences over the last many weeks--also incidentally where this quote--re-quoted by Elder Neil L. Andersen in a 2011 General Conference--came from:)
Some people probably would say pregnancy or giving birth were the hardest thing they've ever done (let alone as a parent). That's a tough one for me because even with my insane labor (which you can read about here if you missed it), it felt completely worth it to me afterward so I am pretty sure my whole memory of the labor is distorted by the insane adrenaline and endorphins I experienced that day. I guess I just need to have another baby to jolt me back to reality again ;). But for real, having a baby is not even that bad and I feel like pushing for four hours permits me to say that. And billions of other women must agree with me too, or why would people have so many children!
So then what has been the hardest thing thus far?
It's not the tiredness. I think being perpetually tired is kind of just a permanent quality of life now (honestly, that's pretty much been the case since high school, but it really escalated after I got pregnant and since). I mean, I guess I have sudden bursts of energy every now and again which is how I get certain big items on my to-do list accomplished, but it's so rare that I have enough energy to do all the things I want to do in a day that I've just come to regard this as an impossibility (or at least as a miracle because that's what it will be if it ever does happen).
It's not the immense sacrifice that people say is required to be a stay-at-home mom. For me, it really hasn't been much of a sacrifice. If anything, it has been an honor to be able to raise one of God's precious little daughters. And being the best wife and mother I can be has always been my greatest ambition so there has never been any question as to what I want to spend my energy working toward. Sure, being pregnant is one part of parenthood that is hard with all its aches and pains and being unable to eat whatever you want and do some of the activities you want to do, but you're getting a baby out of it, and that little life is so much more than worth it. The only thing I'm sacrificing by being a mother as far as I'm concerned is being wealthy (which we probably still wouldn't be even if I were working) and having the ability to be selfish. In other words, I can't just do whatever I want anymore (not that I was really aware that I could do that before having a baby, but I digress). I now have to wake up every morning and feed my daughter and change her diaper. I can't just skip feeding her breakfast. She's depending on me. At eight months old, she can't fend for herself yet. I am responsible for an innocent little being and it's the most wonderful feeling in the world to not just feel needed--but feel the love and gratitude of that little one when she gives you a toothy grin or peacefully lays her head against your chest in perfect tranquility.
On the other hand, when asked the same question, my husband Dalin essentially replied that for him the sacrifice of time is the greatest challenge in parenthood. He actually said, "It's never having time to yourself." And it's true, there is no "time off" in parenthood. Even if you get a babysitter for a date or even manage to get a weekend away, you never stop being parents. Your choices change when you are responsible for being an example to a little human. Remember what I said about being selfish? There's no room for both selfishness and true love of your child. I see what Dalin is saying though. Every so often I miss having those moments between just the two of us. Our marriage has changed out of necessity. We've adapted. Even when we're "alone," there's always our little girl chirping away in the next room. And we are always aware of that. Not that we'd have it any other way... ;)
I guess I should share my answer now. Truthfully, for me the hardest part of motherhood thus far (and of course, being that my daughter is only eight months old I have not had that many experiences yet) is the emotionality of the endeavor. I don't cry as much as I did when I was pregnant (thankfully--for everyone...), but I feel like I am permanently susceptible to my motherly emotions. Especially when a mother or child is hurt or dies in a movie or book, I lose it. I just can't help it. I think about my own family and my own life and am frightened by the unknown of losing a child. I have learned to worry my whole life from a mother who was always incredibly concerned with safety, and now I cannot think about much except for keeping my baby girl safe and healthy. I am pretty confident I'm going to be that overprotective "helicopter" mom or whatever they call it, who hovers over her children because I want to keep them safe from themselves and others, and safe from the disappointments, sadnesses, and dangers of life. But I've decided I'm fine with that. I know I cannot always do this--that would be irrational and inhibit my children's ability to learn and grow for themselves, but for now, that has been the hardest part of being a parent. The constant worrying and fear of the unknown.
That and trying to cook and clean every day with an attention-needing baby. And telling off those people/moms who do or give things to my baby that I'm not okay with because I'm very non-confrontational. And having irregular hours.
But even with all that and no pay, it's worth it. It's worth every second. Without a doubt.
When you get moments like this, you'll understand:
What has been your hardest moment as a parent? Do you agree or disagree with me?
If you aren't one yet, what are your fears about parenthood? (Don't worry, it's wonderful;)
On the other hand, when asked the same question, my husband Dalin essentially replied that for him the sacrifice of time is the greatest challenge in parenthood. He actually said, "It's never having time to yourself." And it's true, there is no "time off" in parenthood. Even if you get a babysitter for a date or even manage to get a weekend away, you never stop being parents. Your choices change when you are responsible for being an example to a little human. Remember what I said about being selfish? There's no room for both selfishness and true love of your child. I see what Dalin is saying though. Every so often I miss having those moments between just the two of us. Our marriage has changed out of necessity. We've adapted. Even when we're "alone," there's always our little girl chirping away in the next room. And we are always aware of that. Not that we'd have it any other way... ;)
I guess I should share my answer now. Truthfully, for me the hardest part of motherhood thus far (and of course, being that my daughter is only eight months old I have not had that many experiences yet) is the emotionality of the endeavor. I don't cry as much as I did when I was pregnant (thankfully--for everyone...), but I feel like I am permanently susceptible to my motherly emotions. Especially when a mother or child is hurt or dies in a movie or book, I lose it. I just can't help it. I think about my own family and my own life and am frightened by the unknown of losing a child. I have learned to worry my whole life from a mother who was always incredibly concerned with safety, and now I cannot think about much except for keeping my baby girl safe and healthy. I am pretty confident I'm going to be that overprotective "helicopter" mom or whatever they call it, who hovers over her children because I want to keep them safe from themselves and others, and safe from the disappointments, sadnesses, and dangers of life. But I've decided I'm fine with that. I know I cannot always do this--that would be irrational and inhibit my children's ability to learn and grow for themselves, but for now, that has been the hardest part of being a parent. The constant worrying and fear of the unknown.
That and trying to cook and clean every day with an attention-needing baby. And telling off those people/moms who do or give things to my baby that I'm not okay with because I'm very non-confrontational. And having irregular hours.
But even with all that and no pay, it's worth it. It's worth every second. Without a doubt.
When you get moments like this, you'll understand:
What has been your hardest moment as a parent? Do you agree or disagree with me?
If you aren't one yet, what are your fears about parenthood? (Don't worry, it's wonderful;)
No comments:
Post a Comment