Olivia's Birth Story: Induced at 41 Weeks

There's something about the act of giving birth that really desensitizes you to certain things. 

Like being seen naked. Let's put it this way--I'm typically quite modest and quite shy about my body. I did not like the idea of anyone being present during the birth other than of course Dalin and the doctors. I wasn't even sure I wanted my mom in the room. That all changed probably the moment I started really feeling the contractions. Once those kicked in, I didn't really give a darn who was around. 

But I need to start from the beginning. 

Because we had a scheduled induction, it was an exceedingly long night. The best way I can think to describe it is like the most intense Christmas Eve ever. After going to bed much later than planned, Dalin and I lay in bed trying not to talk to each other and get some rest. I could hear Dalin awake almost the whole night so I know he was going through the same thing. We woke up quite early...I felt like I'd only just closed my eyes when our alarm went off at 5am. We hurried to get ready, never so happy to go to the hospital. I felt a little nervous and even sad because I really had not wanted to have to be induced, but mostly I felt excited and ready to finally meet my daughter! Dalin cut up some strawberries and sprinkled them with sugar for my breakfast, then we also stopped at Einstein Bros Bagels for a sesame bagel and an OJ for me. At Orem Community Hospital, (which is only 15 minutes away) we took a few "last moments pregnant" photos.

I intentionally wore my "Just Do It" t-shirt because it was exactly what I kept telling myself.

In front of the Women's Center sign. Last picture of just the two of us!

Thanks to whomever I had spoken with on the phone when "scheduling" our induction, I was anxious about getting an unfriendly nurse who would ruin my experience (the lady on the phone wasn't really all that nice...maybe she'd had a bad day). But in the Women's Center, the lady at reception was extremely kind and after being brought to our room, we were introduced to two nurses who were equally pleasant--Denise and Ashlee. I really liked them both. I was hooked up to an IV, which was one of my least favorite parts. The stupid tape was pulling on the hairs on my arm and it bothered me more than anything else that was going on for the first couple of hours. 

Right away, I was started on the oxytocin drip and after a few hours the contractions started to build. During those hours, Dalin and I watched TV, listened to my Hypnobabies Relaxation CD (which I'd only gotten from a family friend a weeks before), talked excitedly about everything, and tried to rest. It was utterly impossible to do so though because all I wanted was to hurry up the process and meet our baby girl! My mom went out to a few stores because not much was happening and I didn't want her to be bored so I encouraged her to go. I assured her that I would call her immediately if anything happened. The contractions weren't so bad at first. They felt like strong period cramps, but there was also the grinding pressure of the baby's head on my pelvis. That started to feel worse and worse. Especially after my water broke, which it thankfully did on its own. I had been a little worried about how that would feel but it just felt like a tiny pop. My doctor had said it would feel like a water balloon popping but it didn't even feel that dramatic. More like a tiny bubblegum bubble popping below my belly button. I wasn't even sure whether that was what happened right away because I was lying down and no water gushed out at first, but after calling the nurse in to check me, I moved and felt a lot of liquid coming out. I couldn't tell where it was coming from but I knew I couldn't control the flow. My nurse Ashlee confirmed that my water had broken by doing a simple pH test (at least, she did the same thing as you would for a pH test with a little strip of paper to sample the fluid). After that, we watched the contraction monitor and Dalin and Ashlee both tried applying counter pressure (by pushing hard against my feet) when I could feel one coming to help me get through them. I was checked a few times and was informed that I was at a steady 6+cm. It was around that time that I began to think, I am going to need that epidural. 

I cried when I called my mom to let her know that I had decided to get it because I felt like I had given up. My goal to have a natural birth was slipping through my fingers and I didn't have the will power to fight it. I just wanted to think about my baby and nothing else. My mother comforted me and told me that my dad had asked why I didn't just get it in the first place. Dalin also reassured me that he would prefer I got one rather than feel any discomfort. I felt better with support from everyone around me and recalled what Dr. Pace had told me at one of my last appointments. He essentially had said, "No matter how you have your baby--whether you have her naturally, with the epidural, by C-section or whatever--do not let anyone make you feel ashamed for the choice you make. Your goal is to have that baby no matter how she gets here." I knew he was right and agreed that no woman should be ashamed by how her child's birth happened. I had just felt disappointed in myself that I apparently did not seem to have the courage or will to go through with my original plan. I agreed to get the epidural and my mom hurried back to the hospital so she could be there with me.

The epidural guy was my hero. He did a terrific job and even though I was nervous (who isn't?), he talked me through everything he did. He basically said, "Ok, it's going to feel like a bee sting then you're going to feel warmth spreading through your back." I had never been stung by a bee before so I wasn't sure what to expect, but compared with the contractions and pressure on my pelvis, the epidural shot was nothing. And it felt exactly like he said so there were no surprises. Plus I had Dalin holding me still and my mom rubbing my head and I knew relief was coming so I felt grateful knowing that. It's probably a good thing I did not see the needle though...apparently it's pretty long. Not that that would deter me from getting the epidural again in the future--it was wonderful! Anyhow, they rolled me on my right side, then after ten or fifteen minutes, they flipped me over to my left side. I didn't know this until then, but apparently the epidural only goes to the lowest point in your body so they had to make sure it got spread around by changing my position often. I felt relief pretty quickly. And I was happy that I could still feel from about my knees down and my chest up. I had been concerned I'd feel completely paralyzed. One thing I had not known about the epidural is that it does not remove the pressure. It kind of takes the edge off, but I was feeling a lot of pressure from the baby's head and it continued to build as I dilated further. Another thing that I experienced (that I never knew could happen) before and after the epidural was intense shaking. Everyone kept asking me if I was cold but I felt perfect--I just could not stop shaking. My arms, hands, and chattering teeth were kind of out of control for a little while. It was really annoying as I tried to speak regularly but my jaw just kept shivering. It was weird but the nurses said it was completely normal and very common.

I just want to pause and take a minute to say that getting the epidural was a GREAT decision for me. It was so much better than I had anticipated. I'm not sure if I just got lucky with how it affected by body, but I was very grateful to be able to have enough feeling to be able to push properly. Getting the epidural allowed me to focus, not on the discomfort, but on the happiness of the day. Dalin and I were going to meet our little girl. That tiny being I had carried for nine+ months was finally coming into the world. It was a miracle. And the epidural allowed me to focus on that. I felt fantastic, as you can see from this picture below (which is not my favorite, but it's the way it was). 

Quite happy after getting the epidural

Anyway, we had been at the hospital about nine hours when they told me I was at 9+cm. Dr. Pace had been in to check on me at one and told me he'd be back around four or five o'clock. When he said that, Dalin, my mom, and I all looked at one another and thought, "Uhh, it isn't going to take that long if I'm almost to 10cm already." Well the joke was on us because I started pushing around four and continued for four straight hours. My contractions were about a minute apart the entire time and I pushed EXTREMELY hard. The nurses even told me that most women can't figure out how to push right away when they have an epidural and reach around a 60 on the contraction chart with their hardest pushes, but mine were all well over 100 consistently! I was pushing with all my might to get our baby girl out--not just because I wanted her to be here already, but also because I felt an overwhelming urge to push because of the immense pressure on my pelvis or rectum (or whatever body part it was). Here's a vivid description for you--it felt like the worst constipation of my life. I couldn't describe it any other way. I've never even really experienced constipation before but that was exactly what my labor felt like. A few months into my pregnancy I learned that it is not uncommon for women to um, well, go to the bathroom while giving birth (I also didn't know that a lot of women throw up from the epidural--fortunately I did neither, nor did I feel any more nauseous than I had back when I experienced morning sickness). Naturally, this idea was a tremendous source of anxiety and embarrassment for me because no one wants to do that in front of anyone, let alone a crowd of nurses. However, at the point I was at in my labor, I could not have cared less if it had happened. Actually, I wanted it to happen because I thought it might bring some relief to the constipated feeling. It never did end up happening--I know because I asked after--which surprised me because you can't really tell what's going on down there but it kind of felt like I did (welcome to having a baby). 

Anyhow, when Dr. Pace returned to see me again, he was optimistic that everything was going well. Baby girl's heart-rate was very healthy and consistent--it only dropped once for a moment and that was after I had pushed the button on the epidural thing to give me some more drugs. I am not sure how she did so well being pressed against my pelvic bone for such a long time, but I am so thankful she was okay. It was probably during my fourth hour of pushing that my doctor started to get very quiet as he began to think it was looking like I might have to go with a C-section. At this point, I was completely exhausted. I could not even open my eyes due to exhaustion and it actually took me a while to realize that I hadn't opened my eyes in a long time. I was feeling very sweaty and very out of it. But I kept pushing despite the nurses suggesting numerous times that I take a break. 

On the side, I should mention that my sister-in-law Shaina showed up around one and my cousin Whitney arrived a short time later. As mentioned earlier, I initially had thought I would not want anyone with me during my labor but when I was in the moment, I didn't give a darn who was there. And looking back, I am so very thankful they were both there. Shaina took turns with the nurses holding one of my legs while I pushed and continuously gave me words of encouragement to motivate me. Whitney served as our photographer after the baby was born and gave me sips of water every few pushes. Getting a baby out is thirsty work! My mom also held my leg and rubbed my hair and offered encouragement. Dalin held my leg much of the time and was constantly whispering that I was doing so well and that we were almost there. It felt wonderful to know he believed in me. 

Anyway, back to the action-- They called the obstetrician (Dr. Broberg) in to take a look and discuss the options with me. They were: to try using the vacuum (which was a risk at this point because baby girl's head had been in the birth canal for so long she surely had a gnarly cone head and with the vacuum you run the risk of the scalp separating from the skull at that point) which sounded terrible; to try using forceps (which also sound terrible and make me picture metal salad tongs); or to perform a C-section (which I was strongly opposed to because, first off, I feared having one, the recovery time is greater, and I want a big family and in some places, there is a limit to the number of C-sections a woman can have). The best option to me sounded like the forceps even though I was worried about them hurting my daughter's head. Honestly, I don't even remember making that decision though--I was a little occupied with pushing. 

During the whole four hours, the nurses told me several times to just take a fifteen minute break from pushing or to try and rest. Every time they suggested that I thought, Are you kidding me? I'm not stopping until she is out. The pressure was so intense that it was far more comfortable to push than to just sit still. So I would push on my own until they were ready to help hold my legs and count with me again. Dr. Broberg and Dr. Pace readied themselves with the forceps, while I simply continued to push with all my might, hoping I could somehow deliver her without any help. One nurse brought a mirror in to "help" me. I was so tired though that everyone had to tell me repeatedly to open my eyes. When I finally managed to, it was not a pretty sight--I was very swollen--and I was discouraged to find that even with my hardest push, I could only see about a golfball-sized view of her head, which looked grayish purple with dark hair. My thought then was, She is never getting out because I am pushing as hard as humanly possible. Dr. Pace seemed to be thinking along those same lines as far as I could tell in the brief moments I was able to pick up on his body language. The next time I glimpsed her head, everyone said, "She has so much hair!" and I, caught in the intensity of the moment as I continued pushing, asked in a strained voice, "Can't you just pull her out by the hair?!" That got a laugh from everyone in the room. I was half kidding...but I was also half serious. When the forceps were ready and in place, I knew it was in my daughter's best interest that I get her out fast, so I prepared myself to push with all my might. They counted and in two pushes I felt her head was out and everyone was cheering. They told me to give one more big push and I felt a weird wet/sliminess as her shoulders and body came out. Tenley ReNae Gunnell was finally born on August 12, 2013 at 8:01pm, weighing 8lbs, 3oz. and 20 inches long. 

Immediately, I began crying because I was so relieved the pushing was over and so, SO happy she came out. The next several minutes were a blur as Dalin cut our beautiful baby's umbilical cord then she was immediately handed off to some nurses because she hadn't cried when she came out. It wasn't long though before I heard her lovely voice and I waited impatiently for them to bring her to me. Meanwhile, they had me push the placenta out (which was a piece of cake after a baby...) and then stitched me up which seemed to take forever even though I supposedly didn't tear too badly (I had been very concerned about the tearing beforehand but because of the epidural I didn't notice that part at all). I was too distracted trying to see my baby during the whole process that it really didn't affect me. Dalin held her first and the look on his face as he looked at her made me sob. It was even more emotional when they handed her to me. I felt a little hysterical but after four hours of non-stop pushing, it seemed justified and everyone else understood. They had me try breastfeeding and miraculously it seemed to come naturally to both of us. It was much easier for me than I had expected (and much easier than I'd been told). She was beautiful--I could see that right away--and such a calm baby. She obviously had Dalin's personality. She looked at me with her darling eyes and I fell completely in love with her. It was the most amazing feeling in the world to know that she was mine and Dalin's. I could see in her eyes that she knew I was her mom. That made everything worth it. Every single little thing. We had created this perfect little being and now she is ours for eternity.

First time holding his daughter

First time holding my baby girl

I knew then what my mom had meant when she had said shortly after giving birth to me that she would do it again in a heartbeat. I felt the same way. Especially because I'd been told that the first birth is usually the longest and most difficult so anything by comparison would seem manageable. Later that night when everyone else had left, I said to Dalin, "That was the second best day ever." (The first would be marrying my sweet husband). He looked at me and said, "Are you kidding? That was the most stressful day ever!" I laughed because I know it had been so for him, seeing me in so much discomfort and in a state of complete frustration and worry when she wasn't coming out. But despite those things, I think he secretly agreed with me because meeting our daughter was an amazing and irreplaceable moment for both of us.

Feel free to ask me any questions about my experience! I would be happy to answer them for you!