Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Supporting Each Other: Sharing Miscarriage Stories


When Olivia and I first started talking about doing this blog I began thinking about what I would want to write about.  As I sit here holding my sleeping baby, trying to type with one hand, I look around our little apartment and see...DISHES that need to be done.  I try NOT to picture the mountain of laundry that I know is in the other room and I wonder how in the world I’m going to make dinner tonight.  I get discouraged and I think of all the things I miss about not being a mom.  But then a thought hits me with full force.  What I miss about not being a mom is nothing, absolutely nothing, to what I would miss about being one. 
What I’ve decided to write about right now is miscarriage.  My miscarriage made me want to be a mom so badly.  Losing a baby made me ache to be a mother more than ever before.  And now partly due to that experience it’s something I never ever want to give up.
Maybe miscarriage is a strange thing to write about on a blog for moms, but I feel that it is something that is so important to talk about but is rarely discussed.  I went through mine about a year and a half ago and one of the hardest things about it was trying to find support.  I found it in my husband Andrew, of course.  We went through it all together and I don’t think for a minute that his pain of losing the baby was any less than mine.  But we all know ourselves and we all know that sometimes women just need support from other women.  Because obviously there were differences between the way it all felt for me verses the way it felt for Andrew- physically and emotionally.  My mom and sister also were a support to me, but having never experienced miscarriage themselves I think they felt apprehensive about what to say or how exactly to support and comfort me.  I didn’t have any friends who had had one that I knew of and I just wished that there was someone I could talk to that would know how confused and sad I felt. 
After getting pregnant the second time and feeling confident that things were running smoothly, I turned to family, friends, and social media for pregnancy support.  By that I mean advice, sympathy, and basic information.  I found relief in hearing and comparing the experiences of others, and was able to cope with the normal hardships that pregnancy brings simply because I knew I was not alone.  Now having my baby here I do the same thing during this part of life.  Looking back now, I really wish there had been a similar place that I could go when I was dealing with my miscarriage.  Even if it was just something to read from a real person and not a pamphlet telling me that everything I was feeling was normal.  I was having so many emotions and I know now that what I really needed was that emotional support from a girl who knew what I was feeling.  That is the goal of this blog--to provide information and emotional support to mothers who are sometimes looking for something other than just the medical aspect.  I hope that this blog can also be a place where women who have experienced miscarriages can find that emotional support as well.  And I hope that here they can also find hope for the future.
So much came to my mind while trying to write this out that I’ve decided to do it in a few parts.  There will be guest bloggers about this subject to share their different experiences.  


If you or anyone you know has had a miscarriage or any kind of pregnancy complication who would like to have their story told please comment here or contact me or Olivia and we would love to feature it here on the blog.  We hope we can all learn and grow from sharing our experiences with each other.

Look for this series to begin the next few days.

No comments:

Post a Comment

You Might Also Enjoy...