When Olivia and I first started talking about doing this
blog I began thinking about what I would want to write about. As I sit here holding my sleeping baby,
trying to type with one hand, I look around our little apartment and see...DISHES that need to be done. I try NOT to picture the mountain of laundry
that I know is in the other room and I wonder how in the world I’m going to
make dinner tonight. I get discouraged
and I think of all the things I miss about not being a mom. But then a thought hits me with full
force. What I miss about not being a mom
is nothing, absolutely nothing, to what I would miss about being one.
What I’ve decided to write about right now is
miscarriage. My miscarriage made me want
to be a mom so badly. Losing a baby made
me ache to be a mother more than ever before.
And now partly due to that experience it’s something I never ever want
to give up.
Maybe miscarriage is a strange thing to write about on a
blog for moms, but I feel that it is something that is so important to talk
about but is rarely discussed. I went through mine
about a year and a half ago and one of the hardest things about it was trying
to find support. I found it in my
husband Andrew, of course. We went
through it all together and I don’t think for a minute that his pain of losing
the baby was any less than mine. But we
all know ourselves and we all know that sometimes women just need support
from other women. Because obviously
there were differences between the way it all felt for me verses the way it felt
for Andrew- physically and emotionally.
My mom and sister also were a support to me, but having never
experienced miscarriage themselves I think they felt apprehensive about what to
say or how exactly to support and comfort me.
I didn’t have any friends who had had one that I knew of and I just wished
that there was someone I could talk to that would know how confused and sad I
felt.
After getting pregnant the second time and feeling confident
that things were running smoothly, I turned to family, friends, and social media
for pregnancy support. By that I mean
advice, sympathy, and basic information.
I found relief in hearing and comparing the experiences of others, and
was able to cope with the normal hardships that pregnancy brings simply because
I knew I was not alone. Now having my
baby here I do the same thing during this part of life. Looking back now, I really wish there had
been a similar place that I could go when I was dealing with my
miscarriage. Even if it was just
something to read from a real person and not a pamphlet telling me that
everything I was feeling was normal. I
was having so many emotions and I know now that what I really needed was that emotional
support from a girl who knew what I was feeling. That is the goal of
this blog--to provide information and emotional support to mothers who are sometimes looking for something other than just the medical aspect. I hope that this blog can also be a place
where women who have experienced miscarriages can find that emotional support
as well. And I hope that here they can
also find hope for the future.
So much came to my mind while trying to write this out that
I’ve decided to do it in a few parts.
There will be guest bloggers about this subject to share their different
experiences.
If you or anyone you know
has had a miscarriage or any kind of pregnancy complication who would like to
have their story told please comment here or contact me or Olivia and we would
love to feature it here on the blog. We
hope we can all learn and grow from sharing our experiences with each other.
Look for this series to begin the next few days.
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