Sunday, December 22, 2013

Emily's Journey: Part 3

Read part one of Emily's story here.
Read part two here!
Continued...

April 12, 2013
I can’t sleep again. I woke up to go to the bathroom, and I just had this strong feeling that I would be delivering the little baby early. I went back to bed and couldn’t stop thinking about that, along with the other things that could go wrong. I tried to sleep, but couldn’t. So I came here to write and see if I can empty and relax my head just a little bit. While in Kaysville last week, we began using cloth diapers. It was hard, and I came upon some major hiccups. We were visiting my aunt and uncle in their cabin home in Logan, and I had a meltdown. Everything that could go wrong was going wrong. Mary had had two blowouts. Then she had another bowel movement – three in a matter of hours! She had a horrible diaper rash. Then she threw up. She had been fussy for days, and not acting like herself. The diapers didn’t seem to be working for me. We were trying out a test drive kit from a company, and they sent us every kind of cloth diaper – they have made them very nice and modern nowadays. Nothing was working. I was in the kitchen, trying to wipe off the vomit, not seeing clearly through my tears. My sweet mother came in and kindly took Mary from me to finish cleaning her and then changing another diaper. I just stood in the kitchen crying uncontrollably. I could do nothing. My grandma and mother and Keri quietly consoled me in small ways and helped me know that these things happen, that it doesn’t mean that I am weak, and that everything was okay. I am so grateful for women in my life. Then, Keri introduced me to pre-folds – or tri-fold diapers. You pin those to the baby – the old fashioned way, then you put a plain old diaper cover over that. She let me borrow hers, as she is not using them right now, and since then, they have worked well for us! Although I am learning that you have to change these diapers more often than a disposable one. As it turns out, Mary’s top front tooth was cutting through, and I think that is why she might have been fussy last week and not acting like herself. Now, she is back to the happy, joyful little thing that she is!
Motherhood is so hard. So SO hard sometimes! But help WILL always come.

May 26, 2013
Whew! It has been a while! Thank goodness for Sundays. The house is still asleep, so I thought I would take the time to update my life on paper! I’ll just throw it all out there, because I can’t remember exactly when everything happened. We went to Burley for our summer vacation! It was so much fun! Presently, my family is living in a southern plantation-styled mansion that is patterned after the Rosalie Mansion in the South. It is very beautiful and elegant. Being there caused us to talk about what kind of house we would like someday. We did a lot of yard work – both at the Burley home, and at the mansion. They have a lot of chickens and baby chicks now, and Mary loved to watch them. Also, there were cats. Whenever Mary sees a little creature, she begins so get very excited and begins to squeal. Sometimes she is so happy I can’t tell if she is laughing or crying. Perhaps she experiences so much emotion that she really is crying. Isaac helped a lot around that house. When my uncle came, they all planted around 120 fruit trees – a big job! We went biking in Sun Valley, and it was so very pleasant!! We thought we wouldn’t be able to because of the rain, but in the end, we went, and the temperature was nice and cool. Isaac went mountain biking twice with my dad. He loved it! The first time he went, I was so worried, but when he walked through the door with a big smile on his face, and mud all over his body, I knew he had a great time! I think that he really enjoys it, and it makes me so happy that he enjoys being around my father. I am so blessed that the two greatest men in my life are good friends. Mary turned a whopping one year old on our last day in Burley! I need to mention here that she FINALLY learned to roll over, just a week before she turned one. She sure is taking her time to learn physical things! But she recognized many words (in Spanish), so I know that she is developing mentally. Whenever you ask her where the light is, she looks up and points. Also, she is learning “tree”. She waves hello and goodbye, and loves to clap. She copies sounds we make, and sometimes copies motions we make. She has the sweetest smile and the loveliest disposition! Right now, she has a yeast infection, so we have put her into disposable diapers until it heals, and until I get a chance to “strip” her cloth diapers. But the cloth diapers are going well! This pregnancy is going very well! I can’t wait to meet our little William Dean! He has begun to kick around a lot! I am now 32 weeks along – that means that I have about 8 more weeks – maybe less! It’s amazing how quickly the time passes. Before Isaac begins school again, we will be a family of four! Well, my time is up – Mary just woke up and I need to go feed her.

June 13, 2013
I am so tired! I have been battling Bronchitis for almost two weeks now. Sunday morning, Isaac took me to the Emergency Room. They did blood tests and a chest x-ray to determine it was bronchitis. They gave me medicine. But I just don’t like being sick. On top of that, our house is VERY warm – it’s hot, actually. And if there is one thing that drains me more than being sick, it’s being hot. I am exhausted. Too tired to write. I will write another time.
June 21, 2013
One more month and I get to meet this little guy! He is moving so much – and there is already no more room for him to grow any more. At least that is what it feels like to me. I am beginning to have very strong Braxton Hicks contractions, and I think my cervical plug is coming out as well. All signs that the end is near, and another beginning is coming! I am looking forward to meeting him, although nervous. What will it be like to be a mother of two? What will he be like? Will he be laid back like Mary, or will he have a more adventurous spirit from the beginning? Time will tell.

June 25, 2013
Yesterday we went to the midwife, but before I tell about that, I need to backtrack to the day before yesterday. A neighbor came over and asked if I wouldn’t mind babysitting her baby girl the next day at around 7:30 – 10:00 or so. We said we were having someone come sign a contract for the condos we manage at around 6 that evening, but it should be done by then, so we would be happy to do that. Now, fast forwarding to yesterday morning. My midwife appointment was at 8:30 am, and I really wanted to make it on time, so we decided that we were going to leave right before 8 am in order to get to American Fork in time. Around 7:30, we got a knock on the door. It was my neighbor with her baby. We didn’t know that she meant the MORNING?!!! Well, we just rolled with it and pretended that we were expecting it. Haha! What a laugh Isaac and I had. So we walked into my midwife appointment with a 13 month old, a 7 month old, me pregnant, and Isaac, with his work clothes on – his shirt said “GOT MILK?” on the back of it. I am sure that we were quite a sight to behold. Well, I hadn’t been to the midwife in months because we were waiting for the Medicaid insurance to come through. I was curious to see if I was dilated at all. I know that a month before Mary was born; I was dilated to a 3. On the way there, I decided that if I was dilated to a two, I would be happy. I didn’t want to get my hopes up to become disappointed. Most women don’t dilate until they are in labor, so I shouldn’t even be complaining. Well, it turns out, I am dilated to a 5! A 5!! Half way there! I was so happy. I got home, and the rest of the day, I was anxious, thinking the baby was going to come any minute. Some of that has died down, thank goodness, but I still feel a little anxious and feel like I want to pack all of the bags and have everything ready. I just might.

July 1, 2013
July is here! And boy, is it hot! Last week, after my midwife appointment, I called them back and canceled my appointment for this week and moved it to next. But last night, I was having intense Braxton Hicks contractions. They weren’t painful, but very uncomfortable and close together. I decided to call the midwives and make an appointment. They were able to see me today. I left Mary with a neighbor – and headed off! When the midwife checked me, she was very surprised. I was dilated to almost a 7 and 80% effaced. She said that the bag of waters was bulging, which means that the baby has dropped down enough to put a lot of pressure on the bag. She said that she could break my bag right then and there, but of course I didn’t want that. She repeatedly told me that I needed to go to the hospital. But I didn’t want to do that either, so she told me that if I begin to have contractions again like last night, that I needed to go to the hospital. I said that I could do that. But I do have some concerns about that. If I go to the hospital, I know that they will admit me based on my dilation, but will they allow me to go home if it’s not labor? And if they don’t let me go home, will they pressure me to consider inducement? I don’t want that at all! When I called my mom to tell her, she called me back a little later and told me that she was packing up (they are at Alturas Lake, camping right now), and was heading South. That made me feel even more concerned! What if I am making a mountain out of a molehill? Or what if this baby really is coming? So I prayed to receive guidance and inspiration. I haven’t received any specific instruction, but I have felt a lot of peace as I have cleaned the house and have made the necessary preparations, like packing the bags. I have even done a little ironing! Well, I just had a thought. I think I will call the hospital and tell them my situation and ask them if they think they would have to keep me there. Well, little baby boy? Are you coming today? Are you coming tomorrow? This could just be the beginning of your birth story!

July 2, 2013
This waiting and waiting, thinking that I am going to go into active labor any moment is exhausting, and makes me lazy. As of this moment, I have decided that the baby is not going to come when I think he will, so I need to go about my daily life as normal as possible. If I don’t, my husband will not be fed, my house will be in disorder, I will be unhappy, and so will everyone else. That is what happened today. No more of that! I wash my hands of it.

July 3, 2013
Today, I decided to do a lot, regardless of my situation, and I am happy to report that I am much happier for it! I went to UCCU to deposit the rent checks for the condos. I went to Smiths to do a little grocery shopping and pick up my Zofran prescription. I went to Costco to fill up on fuel and buy a few things for my mother. While there, I felt a sensation similar to a lot of pressure – as if the baby’s head was lowering. As I walked, it felt like a bowling ball was between my legs. I hope nobody would notice me. And then every 10 seconds or so, I would get a sharp jolt of pain on my right backside – near the sciatic nerve, maybe. I prayed that I would be able to make it through the shopping. When I got to the car, I prayed that I would make it home safely and that I would know when the right time to go to the hospital would be. On the way home, the distinct words came into my mind to go home and put everything in order. I have done that, and now am waiting for further inspiration.

July 9, 2013
The night before the 4th of July, at about 10:00 pm, I began having regular Braxton Hicks contractions lasting a minute long, a minute apart. At 1 am, they were still going on. I had a strong, good feeling that we should go to the hospital. We prepared everything and dropped Mary off at Isaac’s sister’s for the night, called my mom to come, and excitedly headed to the hospital. It felt good to be there and not be rushed. When I had called previously, the room I wanted was available, but when we arrived it was not, so they put us in another one. That made me a little put out, but it was okay. They hooked me up to the monitors – one for contractions, one for baby’s heart rate. My mom arrived, and we all had a good time chatting while the nurses would periodically come in and check on me. After a couple of hours with no change, the nurse said that they cannot legally break my water, since I was only 37 weeks along – which is full term, but not full gestational age. They were going to put me on a 24 hour-watch to see if any change would come. After that, I was discouraged. But my mom pulled up the talk by Elder Holland about faith and hope from last General Conference. It was wonderful. We then talked about it. If we truly want something, we have the ability to ask the Lord for it, and TRULY believe that he can and will give it to us. My mom asked me if I wanted to have this baby tonight. I said yes. So we all prayed that the baby would come. I really believed it, and my body began having more contractions! As the evening rolled on, Isaac and my mom fell asleep, the lights were dimmed, and I lay down to sleep too, which slowed my contractions for several hours. I was exhausted, but couldn’t sleep. For hours, I watched my mother and husband slumbering peacefully as I sat there. I vacillated between “will we have a baby tomorrow or not?" In the morning, I was unhappy. I just didn’t feel good emotionally. That usually means that there is a disconnection with the spirit, or that I am not doing what I need to be doing. The midwife arrived in the morning and said that she could break my water and we could have a baby that morning. How exciting! My mom left to get some breakfast. The more I played with the idea of breaking my water, the more unhappy I felt. I prayed, and when I thought of going to Kaysville that day to spend the fourth of July with family, I felt happy. That helped me make the decision. I told the midwife that I would be leaving, and come back at a better time to have this baby. They did not like that idea. They had never discharged a mother who was dilated to seven before. They gave me warnings to stay close. Of course, I didn’t tell them we were heading to Kaysville.

Throughout this experience, I asked myself many times, “Why did the spirit prompt me to come to the hospital at this time, even when nothing is going to happen, and the baby isn’t coming?” I felt so good about my decision to go to the hospital too! But when I made the decision to leave, peace came upon me. I did not regret the decisions I had made, and was not angry at the Spirit for “misleading” me. It wasn’t misleading me – it was teaching me! This experience was a trial of my faith and a trial of my patience. It was a lesson in how to listen to the spirit and to follow it, not matter the outcome. Now I knew that when it really mattered – I would be able to tell when the spirit was prompting me – in any situation in life! Another lesson learned was how to follow the spirit – and only the spirit. I have had a tendency in the past to rely heavily on the arms of others or opinions of my parents and others to make my decisions. After this experience though, I feel much more confident in my ability to listing to the Still Small Voice to make the decisions that are right for myself and my family – and to do the Lord’s will for me.

My mom headed to Isaac’s sister’s house from the hospital to pick Mary up and go to Kaysville, while I went home to shower and get ready for the day. We packed up and went to Kaysville. It was so nice to be with family and to see my little Mary again. We had a marvelous 4th. We all went to see The Scarlet Pimpernel play that was being performed at Davis High. It was very good, but I was so tired, from having received so little sleep the previous night. We had a big family barbecue on the front lawn, lighted some of our own fireworks that Grandma bought, and later that evening we watched Kaysville’s fireworks. At first, they really startled Mary, but she got used to them afterwards and was mesmerized. We stayed for the 5th as well and went to the airport to pick my little sister up from her year spent in Paris. How nice to see her! She looked much taller!

July 6th, Isaac and I worked hard on Arnott’s Condos duties. We have a lot going one with the apartments and tenants, so I am glad that we were able to do that.

That evening, I began having contractions. They were just Braxton Hicks – not painful at all. They were about a minute long, a minute apart. We watched them for about an hour and felt good about going to bed. At one in the morning, I was still having them, hadn’t really slept, and needed to go to the bathroom. As I lay there, thinking about whether tonight was the night or not, I (very) suddenly turned to Isaac, woke him up, and told him that we needed to go to the hospital now, although I wasn’t in labor at all. I was being prompted that it was time. I went to the bathroom and began to get ready. We called a neighbor who was more than happy to come over and sleep on our couch for the night to be there for Mary. We called my mom, and she began traveling from Kaysville.

Once at the hospital, I discovered that the room I wanted was open. (This was the same room in which I delivered Mary). That made me happy, and strengthened my resolve that we had made the right decision to come that night. The nurses must have thought I was crazy, coming to the hospital – not even in labor yet, and 2 weeks before my due date. But I had had plenty of experiences during the previous nine months to prepare me for this moment, and to teach me to listen to the Spirit. And when the Spirit inspires, I have learned that I need to follow!!! As Isaac and I sat in the delivery room alone, the contractions became a little stronger. (This was twenty minutes after getting to the hospital.) I decided to get into the bed. I told Isaac to text my mother to hurry – I felt like the baby was going to come soon. The painful contractions began. Isaac was such a trooper in pressing down on my knees with each contraction, to put pressure on my lower back, since I was having another back labor. My mom arrived and helped Isaac, which I’m sure was a relief for him. She was so fast in coming to the hospital – I was impressed! The nurses seemed to be unconcerned – in fact, for much of the labor, it was only myself, my mother and Isaac in the room. I wanted them to call the midwife, because I knew the baby was coming soon!! When I began to feel the urge to push, I remember saying, “I’m going to begin pushing now”. The one nurse who was in there, who was busily getting the neonatal unit set up – unconcerned with me and what I was doing, whipped her head around, and ran out of the room saying, “Wait! Hold on! Don’t push yet.” Yeah right! When I am in active labor, there is nothing to do BUT push! My body does it whether I want to or not. My nurse came in, along with a couple of others. She said the baby was crowning. At this moment, I was in pain. I don’t remember it hurting that badly with Mary, but of course, we women forget these things. But it’s a “pressure” kind of a pain. It feels good, and it doesn’t feel good – at the same time. I remembered the olive oil I had packed and asked Isaac to apply it liberally. He did (or maybe it was my mom?), and the nurse seemed to know exactly what to do. She began to stretch the skin over the baby’s head – which was extremely painful for me, as I recall. I wanted a break. I wanted to stop for a moment, but they said that they had lost track of the baby’s heart rate (I knew that the monitor had just dislodged itself, when I had my legs brought up to my chest). So they wanted me to keep pushing. In that moment, I wanted nothing but to just stop and give myself a break! But I knew I needed to push, so I pushed. William’s head was born and the pressure ceased – then his body followed and he was beautiful!!

brand new
William Dean Arnott was born July 7th, 2013 at 3:26 in the morning. My labor was 75 minutes in total, compared to that of his big sister’s – 90 minutes. He was 6 lbs. 13 ounce and 20 inches long. He has strawberry-blond (or maybe more blond) colored hair – like Mary’s was when she was born. He looks nothing like his older sister. He has a sharp, protruding chin, like my mother’s. He has a small, very round head, little red lips, short fingers, but big hands, flat feet like his dad, my toes, slender body, tiny ears, the skinniest legs I have ever seen, and the cutest face. He likes to spit up, but nurses pretty well. I love him dearly!!
Peaceful moment between mother and son
The happiness and joy I experienced when our son was born is something I cannot describe. It is a wonderful, heavenly, sacred, and absolutely beautiful and peaceful feeling. Being a wife, a mother, and learning how to rely on the Lord has been and will be my greatest calling in life. I love it and I live it! I strive every day to improve upon my strengths, and to turn my weaknesses into stepping stones for greatness. I love my life and my husband and my children and most of all my God. He is teaching me to strip away all of that pride to become His. I am so very grateful to be blessed in experiencing this mortal life and the wonderful experiences it offers.

Mary meeting her new brother!


Isn't Emily an inspiring woman? 
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